Posted by admin on
May 27, 2008
Ok, so I’ll admit it- There are few things that are so frustrating that I can bring myself to say “That’s it, I’m done”. I mean, nobody likes to quit, especially on something like “dating” because the rewards of being in a positive, committed relationship (with someone you really care for) are really tremendous. But at a certain point in time, when something has become so frustrating and so time consuming, you just have to cut bait.
Truth is that dating for me just shouldn’t be this hard. On paper I’m every woman’s wet dream- Reasonably successful, reasonably charming, reasonably intelligent, reasonably confident, reasonably handsome, reasonably active, etc. It turns out, however, that whatever my actual ratio of all of those things is it is not quite the right fit with the women I’ve been dating. Now that’s ok. I don’t have a problem with not being the right fit because no one has been the right fit with me either. At the same time there is a limit to how much time I have to actually try and figure this crap out.
It’s not how much dating costs that bugs me. Nor is it the failure of having it not work. What bugs the crap out of me is the amount of time it takes. I’ve just got too much to do. So I’ve just decided that I am going to stop dating. Maybe not dating entirely, but I am certainly canning internet dating.
I’ve deleted my jDate profile and canceled my membership. Writing all these emails, then replying to emails I get back, then all the other junk that comes with the “carpet bombing” mentality that goes with online dating are taking time away from things that I really need to get done, like putting new light fixtures in my closets, or maybe… [gasp] updating this damn blog.
I’m going back to meeting women the old fashioned way: Randomly.
Posted by admin on
May 15, 2008
I have decided that my goal for my 40′th year is to be able to do the following on my 41’st birthday:
1. Walk into the garage and find anything I need, or any tool, within 3 minutes. Also walk into my garage and not feel like I walked into a war zone. (For the record, I have a 2 car garage that fits my quad cab long bed one ton truck- It’s huge, and thus it’s a disaster area)
2. Walk into my office and it will be completely organized.
3. Walk into my house house and breathe easily because it is completely uncluttered. After being in Barbie’s place I realized just how completely full of crap my house is. Hers is the picture of zen simplicity. Mine is the picture of “junk stuffed into every corner”.
4. I will walk through my house and see that all the final trim work is done from my renovation
5. The upstairs bathroom sink will no longer trip when I run the hot water.
6. I will think back on having completed Ironman Canada in 15:59:59 hours.
7. I will think back on having completed Ironman Arizona in 13:59:59 hours.
8. I will reflect on having established 2 new, good friendships with men.
9. I’ll look over some chick sitting on the couch that can put up with me, that doesn’t make me want to shoot myself, or her, too often.
10. I will know that I made it to 41 without doing something so stupid it costs me my leg or my life (I kinda do dumb shit sometimes).
Posted by admin on
May 8, 2008
So everyone warned me it would be tedious, the exercise of getting out of Israel. They warned me that there would be hundreds of questions, and that it can take up to three hours. So I really did brace myself for the worst.
“Are you Jewish” I was told would be the first question.
“Did you pack your bags yourself…” And so on. I have kinda been through it- I flew ELAL last time I flew into Israel. This time I decided I would stick with Lufthansa. I don’t have anything against ELAL itself, I just wonder how good their business class product can really be, considering my experience on it last time, and United doesn’t code share with them. Lufthansa’s business class product rocks (I am looking forward to finishing I Am Legend before going to sleep tonight- Bad dreams await!) so I’ll stick with what I know is good. Thank you work for sending me business class.
So I got to the airport four hours early. After a brief, yet polite argument with the chick at the AVIS counter (and a 10% discount later) I am off to navigate Ben Gurion International Airport. The anticipation is almost palpable- I am ready for them. Not because I know all the answers, but because my work has a contract with a “security broker” of some sort that pre-clears dumbasses with big mouths like me. All I have to do, says Maly, the office manager at our Tel Aviv office, is wave this piece of paper and everyone will piss off and let me get to the relative safety of a beer and the business class lounge. So I am “special”.
(Side note- To all you jacknuts trying out all the ring tones on your new phone in the business class lounge, SHUT IT. No one wants to hear them.)
So I walk up to the ticket counter, parade my special ass down the business class isle, and present my passport. A very polite young man admires my photograph, and holds it up in front of me to look back and forth- I expect this is to check several features to make sure they are the same. I await his first question, about what I was doing here, am I Jewish, who was my grandfather with baited breath.
“Did you enjoy your stay in Israel?”
I’m TOTALLY unprepared for this question.
Being a “guest worker” in the United States I think every question that a customs/sercurity officer asks you is a trick. “Did I enjoy my stay?” WTF is that!? What does he mean? I’m going to tell him “no”?!? I mean TOTALLY WTF, OVER?
I open my mouth, squeak, and say in a very soft voice “Yes, very much so.” and wait for the shoe to drop, because I really had no clue what he was really asking.
“How do you pronounce your last name.” Holy crap this guy is good. I have no idea what the “right” answer is to this question.
“Air-Hard” I say. At least that’s how I pronounce it. My family all has their own way of enunciating it, although I refrain from telling Israeli customs that. The problem is that this is yet another question that goes nowhere. Now I’m nervous AND confused.
“What is the origin of this name?” I am completely out of my realm. I have no idea where he’s going.
“Swiss. It was originally Eberhard, when my gran…”
“What was the reason for your stay in Israel?” Crap. He’s testy now. Not even my magic paper is gonna save me, and I can’t even seem to steer the conversation to it’s presence.
“Business.” I reply.
“What were you doing here?”
I tell him.
“How long have you been in Israel?” he asks, “Where is your ticket?” These questions are said more like statements, like he has to get through it before he sends me to the “little room” which I think of as the Israeli equivalent of the US INS holding pen for people who’s documentation isn’t cookie cutter. I show him my itinerary, since I don’t have my tickets yet.
“This is good enough.” he says while studying my entrance and exit dates on my itinerary. “How long have you been in Israel?”
Here’s where I really pooch it: I have forgotten how long I’ve been in Israel. I have been here for weeks, and I’ve had to stammer “… Uh… I… Uh… Close to three wee…”
“Do you have a paper from the security company?” FINALLY!!! SWEET RELEASE SHAL BE MINE!
My magic paper is out faster than you can say “cavity search”.
“Yes sir!” I yell.
“I will be back in one moment. I will check this.” And he wanders off with my passport, itinerary, and magic paper in hand.
I stand there looking like a dolt. Kicking the ground with the stub of my toe, trying to figure out what to do with my hands (I know what to do with them, the thumb/pointer finger thing, That’s kinda my point) and basically looking like a moron because I just allowed someone to walk off with my passport. Even if they *ARE* Israeli security personnel I should have at least baulked at the idea.
“Have a nice flight, sir, thank you for visiting Israel.”
Holy crap, that piece of paper really *IS* magic.
Off to airport security and the metal detector. I hand my passport, ticket, and MAGIC PAPER to the next “gatekeeper”.
She hands the magic paper back without looking at it. I feel like some bully I didn’t want to invite to my birthday in the first place has just stuck a fork in my birthday balloon. How dare she disregard the magic paper!
“Please proceed sir.”
I hand my papers to the next gatekeeper, the person manning the ex-ray.
He hands the paper back to me too. He’s far more interested in my ticket. So disappointing.
“Do you have a laptop computer…?”
Since I have acquired a buckle-less belt (Yea, I travel THAT much, and I have made sure to have nothing in my pockets either) I sail through security.
Off to passport control. Yes, there is yet another checkpoint to LEAVE Israel.
I lay out my passport, opened to the right page, my airline ticket, and my magic paper all in a row.
The Immigration officer regards all of these as though he is trying to decide if he’s having Falafel or Hummus. He picks Hummus and “Schnitzel”. He raises his hand, with a loud THUMP of his hand on the counter in front of me he accepts my offerings of passport and Airline ticket. He drags my passport and ticket towards him, and with the other hand he flicks my magic paper back at me as though to say “Your pre-clearance Jedi mind tricks will not work on me, Air-Hard, if that *IS* your real name…”
Eyes flick back and forth between my passport and my visage, and a great “THERCHUNK” of his official stamp later my passport and airline ticket are stamped.
“Enjoy your flight Meester Airgart.”
Posted by admin on
May 6, 2008
In fact I’ve been horrible about updating on this trip. But I have an excuse! Well, a lame one- I’ve been incredibly busy. Firstly the work aspect of this trip (The reason I actually go on these jobs) is the most important. That’s pretty simple for starters.
Secondly I need to sleep, and I need to eat. Work often impinges on this priority.
Thirdly I need to actually spend time experiencing the local cultures of the places I go. I need to focus more on that, and I made a point of making sure I would get time to myself this trip.
Fourthly… Well… Yea, I’ve been really damn busy. These posts often take hours to write. If I’m not bored out of my tree at the hotel, where I often write them, then I’m doing one of the above. What I need to do is peck away at them a little bit at a time during lulls in my day where I become so exhausted that I can’t look at OSX Terminal anymore.
All of this aside they take a long time to write, and I really haven’t had the time to do my writing justice on this trip.
I’ve written another post I’ll put up after I get home. Right now I’m just waiting for my flight to board.
