Drowning

Ok, so I haven’t been swimming much.

Well, I haven’t been swimming at all.

That changed, however, yesterday when I managed to get my rather ample ass down to Chatfield State Park for the Wednesday open water session in the “gravel pond”:

I always go to the 900m mark.

Yesterday I basically swam hard out to 900 meters, then came back, hard, with no rest.  I’m pretty happy with the effort, I’m more than happy with how I felt in the water, and that’s a good sign that Ironman Canada won’t quite be the disaster I am thinking it might, especially with my altitude adaptation.  But the 1800 meter lap I did yesterday is just a portion of the 3800m swim I’ll have to do for the race.  The good news is that now I know for sure that it basically takes two laps out to 900meters to come close to the race swim.

Generally I swim to survive at races-  I never really have any fear of NOT surviving, I’ve got a ton of experience in the water, and I’m a very strong swimmer, but I’m slow. One thing I’ve noticed, having not swum for a long time, is that I am much more aware of what’s going on with my body orientation, and how much water I’m actually letting slip under my arms.  I think I needed a break from swimming in order to really get a better feel for the water.  Between now and Canada I need to spend some serious time in the water getting my body orientation in the water the way I want it, and building my stroke back up.

What I really want is an endless pool, but there is absolutely nowhere to put one on my property.  I’ve looked.  I’ve racked my brain on where to put one of these babies but I just can’t find a location.  Maybe in my back porch, if I expanded it out, but I don’t think I could get that past planning.  Truth is my place is just too small.  For now I’m actually going to have to leave my house and go to a pool to swim.

Major Progress

Ok, so originally when I put up my list of items that I need to get through this year #1 was to get the garage under control.  Finally this was a project that had to get some traction.  I was thoroughly disgusted by how my garage looked, and I needed to get my truck off the street.

Over the winter I had major problems with mice.  I let them live in the garage failing to understand just how filthy they are.  Once I did, however, I managed to get rid of them reasonably quickly, however they still left an insane mess.  I had to clean everything in the garage, and throw a ton of stuff out.

Well, I managed to actually get the garage done.  It took a monumental effort over several weeks, and I still have other work to do, organizing tools, getting a grip on my inventory of parts and stuff, but to be honest the heavy lifting is done.  The rest-  moving stuff around and making things more utilitarian is something I will do on a project-by-project basis.

For example-  Another project I had to do, as part of the “trim” project, was to create something that would fill in a huge gap at the top of my gas fireplace downstairs.  I worked on that (and in fact finished it) yesterday, and in the process organized a fair number of tools and parts in the garage.  As I need particular items for a project I reorganize and get a grip on those particular items.  Things  take a little longer, but the “little chunks” method seems to be working quite well.

The fireplace “frame” was a huge issue for me-  it has been on my mind for years, but I knew I would really have one shot to get it right.  I knew I needed to avoid using wood, which meant all of the supplies I used had to be cement and/or metal.

What I ended up with was a piece of aluminium corner framing, about three inches on a side, bolted to the underside of the top of the brick fireplace.  Bolted to the facing of that is a piece of cement board, cut to fit.  Then I have three pieces of the same slate tile (gauged) that have been attached to the cement board using thinset.  These three pieces of slate tile are above the original black frame of my fireplace.  The finished result looks great.  I’ll post a photo as soon as I get the area cleaned up.

The only thing I did that I didn’t like was use pop-rivets to attach the aluminium bracket to the underside of the top of the fireplace.  The underside is actually sitting on a 1/4 inch piece of iron plate, and drilling through that was a total drag.  If I had done this before the mantle had been built (I had it done custom) then I would have used screws, and set them through the iron plate.  But I didn’t, so I had to find another way of attaching the bracket.  The pop rivets are fine, but if I ever have to get the bracket off it’s going to be a total pain in the ass.  Well, to be honest, this is nothing that a crowbar won’t fix.

Giving Up

Ok, so I’ll admit it-  There are few things that are so frustrating that I can bring myself to say “That’s it, I’m done”.  I mean, nobody likes to quit, especially on something like “dating” because the rewards of being in  a positive, committed relationship (with someone you really care for) are really tremendous.  But at a certain point in time, when something has become so frustrating and so time consuming, you just have to cut bait.

Truth is that dating for me just shouldn’t be this hard.  On paper I’m every woman’s wet dream-  Reasonably successful, reasonably charming, reasonably intelligent, reasonably confident, reasonably handsome, reasonably active, etc. It turns out, however, that whatever my actual ratio of all of those things is it is not quite the right fit with the women I’ve been dating.  Now that’s ok.  I don’t have a problem with not being the right fit because no one has been the right fit with me either.  At the same time there is a limit to how much time I have to actually try and figure this crap out.

It’s not how much dating costs that bugs me.  Nor is it the failure of having it not work.  What bugs the crap out of me is the amount of time it takes.  I’ve just got too much to do. So I’ve just decided that I am going to stop dating.  Maybe not dating entirely, but I am certainly canning internet dating.

I’ve deleted my jDate profile and canceled my membership.  Writing all these emails, then replying to emails I get back, then all the other junk that comes with the “carpet bombing” mentality that goes with online dating are taking time away from things that I really need to get done, like putting new light fixtures in my closets, or maybe…  [gasp] updating this damn blog.

I’m going back to meeting women the old fashioned way:  Randomly.

Happy Birthdaaaaay to MEEEEEEEE

I have decided that my goal for my 40′th year is to be able to do the following on my 41’st birthday:

1.  Walk into the garage and find anything I need, or any tool, within 3 minutes.  Also walk into my garage and not feel like I walked into a war zone.  (For the record, I have a 2 car garage that fits my quad cab long bed one ton truck-  It’s huge, and thus it’s a disaster area)

2.  Walk into my office and it will be completely organized.

3.  Walk into my house house and breathe easily because it is completely uncluttered.  After being in Barbie’s place I realized just how completely full of crap my house is.  Hers is the picture of zen simplicity.  Mine is the picture of “junk stuffed into every corner”.

4.  I will walk through my house and see that all the final trim work is done from my renovation

5.  The upstairs bathroom sink will no longer trip when I run the hot water.

6.  I will think back on having completed Ironman Canada in 15:59:59 hours.

7.  I will think back on having completed Ironman Arizona in 13:59:59 hours.

8.  I will reflect on having established 2 new, good friendships with men.

9.  I’ll look over some chick sitting on the couch that can put up with me, that doesn’t make me want to shoot myself, or her, too often.

10.  I will know that I made it to 41 without doing something so stupid it costs me my leg or my life (I kinda do dumb shit sometimes).

Gettin’ Outa Dodge

So everyone warned me it would be tedious, the exercise of getting out of Israel.  They warned me that there would be hundreds of questions, and that it can take up to three hours.  So I really did brace myself for the worst.

“Are you Jewish”  I was told would be the first question.

“Did you pack your bags yourself…”  And so on.  I have kinda been through it-  I flew ELAL last time I flew into Israel.  This time I decided I would stick with Lufthansa.  I don’t have anything against ELAL itself, I just wonder how good their business class product can really be, considering my experience on it last time, and United doesn’t code share with them.  Lufthansa’s business class product rocks (I am looking forward to finishing I Am Legend before going to sleep tonight-  Bad dreams await!) so I’ll stick with what I know is good.  Thank you work for sending me business class.

So I got to the airport four hours early.  After a brief, yet polite argument with the chick at the AVIS counter (and a 10% discount later) I am off to navigate Ben Gurion International Airport.  The anticipation is almost palpable-  I am ready for them.  Not because I know all the answers, but because my work has a contract with a “security broker” of some sort that pre-clears dumbasses with big mouths like me.  All I have to do, says Maly, the office manager at our Tel Aviv office, is wave this piece of paper and everyone will piss off and let me get to the relative safety of a beer and the business class lounge.  So I am “special”.

(Side note-  To all you jacknuts trying out all the ring tones on your new phone in the business class lounge, SHUT IT.  No one wants to hear them.)

So I walk up to the ticket counter, parade my special ass down the business class isle, and present my passport.  A very polite young man admires my photograph, and holds it up in front of me to look back and forth-  I expect this is to check several features to make sure they are the same.  I await his first question, about what I was doing here, am I Jewish, who was my grandfather with baited breath.

“Did you enjoy your stay in Israel?”

I’m TOTALLY unprepared for this question.

Being a “guest worker” in the United States I think every question that a customs/sercurity officer asks you is a trick.  “Did I enjoy my stay?”  WTF is that!?  What does he mean?  I’m going to tell him “no”?!?  I mean TOTALLY WTF, OVER?

I open my mouth, squeak, and say in a very soft voice “Yes, very much so.” and wait for the shoe to drop, because I really had no clue what he was really asking.

“How do you pronounce your last name.”  Holy crap this guy is good.  I have no idea what the “right” answer is to this question.

“Air-Hard” I say.  At least that’s how I pronounce it.  My family all has their own way of enunciating it, although I refrain from telling Israeli customs that.  The problem is that this is yet another question that goes nowhere.  Now I’m nervous AND confused.

“What is the origin of this name?”  I am completely out of my realm.  I have no idea where he’s going.

“Swiss.  It was originally Eberhard, when my gran…”

“What was the reason for your stay in Israel?”  Crap.  He’s testy now.  Not even my magic paper is gonna save me, and I can’t even seem to steer the conversation to it’s presence.

“Business.”  I reply.

“What were you doing here?”

I tell him.

“How long have you been in Israel?”  he asks, “Where is your ticket?”  These questions are said more like statements, like he has to get through it before he sends me to the “little room” which I think of as the Israeli equivalent of the US INS holding pen for people who’s documentation isn’t cookie cutter.  I show him my itinerary, since I don’t have my tickets yet.

“This is good enough.”  he says while studying my entrance and exit dates on my itinerary.  “How long have you been in Israel?”

Here’s where I really pooch it:  I have forgotten how long I’ve been in Israel.  I have been here for weeks, and I’ve had to stammer “…  Uh…  I…  Uh…  Close to three wee…”

“Do you have a paper from the security company?”  FINALLY!!!  SWEET RELEASE SHAL BE MINE!

My magic paper is out faster than you can say “cavity search”.

“Yes sir!”  I yell.

“I will be back in one moment.  I will check this.”  And he wanders off with my passport, itinerary, and magic paper in hand.

I stand there looking like a dolt.  Kicking the ground with the stub of my toe, trying to figure out what to do with my hands (I know what to do with them, the thumb/pointer finger thing,  That’s kinda my point) and basically looking like a moron because I just allowed someone to walk off with my passport.  Even if they *ARE* Israeli security personnel I should have at least baulked at the idea.

“Have a nice flight, sir, thank you for visiting Israel.”

Holy crap, that piece of paper really *IS* magic.

Off to airport security and the metal detector.  I hand my passport, ticket, and MAGIC PAPER to the next “gatekeeper”.

She hands the magic paper back without looking at it.  I feel like some bully I didn’t want to invite to my birthday in the first place has just stuck a fork in my birthday balloon.  How dare she disregard the magic paper!

“Please proceed sir.”

I hand my papers to the next gatekeeper, the person manning the ex-ray.

He hands the paper back to me too.  He’s far more interested in my ticket.  So disappointing.

“Do you have a laptop computer…?”

Since I have acquired a buckle-less belt (Yea, I travel THAT much, and I have made sure to have nothing in my pockets either) I sail through security.

Off to passport control.  Yes, there is yet another checkpoint to LEAVE Israel.

I lay out my passport, opened to the right page, my airline ticket, and my magic paper all in a row.

The Immigration officer regards all of these as though he is trying to decide if he’s having Falafel or Hummus.  He picks Hummus and “Schnitzel”.  He raises his hand, with a loud THUMP of his hand on the counter in front of me he accepts my offerings of passport and Airline ticket.  He drags my passport and ticket towards him, and with the other hand he flicks my magic paper back at me as though to say “Your pre-clearance Jedi mind tricks will not work on me, Air-Hard, if that *IS* your real name…”

Eyes flick back and forth between my passport and my visage, and a great “THERCHUNK” of his official stamp later my passport and airline ticket are stamped.

“Enjoy your flight Meester Airgart.”

Ok, so I’ve been lax…

In fact I’ve been horrible about updating on this trip.  But I have an excuse!  Well, a lame one-  I’ve been incredibly busy.  Firstly the work aspect of this trip (The reason I actually go on these jobs) is the most important.  That’s pretty simple for starters.

Secondly I need to sleep, and I need to eat.  Work often impinges on this priority.

Thirdly I need to actually spend time experiencing the local cultures of the places I go.  I need to focus more on that, and I made a point of making sure I would get time to myself this trip.

Fourthly…  Well…  Yea, I’ve been really damn busy.  These posts often take hours to write.  If I’m not bored out of my tree at the hotel, where I often write them, then I’m doing one of the above.  What I need to do is peck away at them a little bit at a time during lulls in my day where I become so exhausted that I can’t look at OSX Terminal anymore.

All of this aside they take a long time to write, and I really haven’t had the time to do my writing justice on this trip.

I’ve written another post I’ll put up after I get home.  Right now I’m just waiting for my flight to board.

I know I’m late…

But work has really been taking it out of me.  I have two big posts that I need to write, the one about Tsfat and another about how stable the country is.  I’ve been writing them in my head between trying to get different systems to work.

On the work side I’m getting my deployment system down.  I’ve found a lot of the gotchas, and every time something goes wrong I add it to the checklist.

Unfortunately it’s a fairly long checklist…

Ok, It’s Hot.

I just went upstairs to hang with a person from Europe that is here on the same project, Ina, and I have to admit it is definitely very warm.

104 °F / 40 °C Clear

Sweet.

The Winds of Sharaf

Apparently here in Tel Aviv we have a condition called Sharaf…  These are winds from Africa that come over and blow very hot. I have yet to actually experience this for myself, so I’ll report back when I wander outside.  I need to actually spend some time wandering around in the area near the office-  Lots of restaraunts, and shops.

Sergie, the IT guy here in the Tel Aviv office is coming by ever 20-30 minutes and telling us to drink because he’s worried about us dehydrating.

I would be too, except that the AC is workin’ overtime here in the office…

I’m actually a little cold…

INCOMING!

I owe you all a bit post (or rather several posts) about this weekend because it was such a mind blowing experience, but first daddy’s gotta get paid, so I’d better get a little work done.